Back....Again

It's been awhile. I haven't had the time, or focus, or even much of a need, to blog. Now, the need is back. Some things are going on and I need a sounding board. That's about what I've got for now. There will be more in 10-20 days.

I can just look up & know the stars are holding you....

I am in the airport waiting for my flight. It's been a week full of the whole spectrum of emotions. When I got to Seattle it was rainy and was until Saturday. Saturday was a beautiful day. Perfect weather to gather friends and family together so say good-bye to my aunt. I had the pleasure to meet some of Aunt T's wonderful wonderful friends.
I can't really call it a service, so I guess the "gathering"? The gathering was everything we could have asked for. My grandma wanted me to put together a collage of pictures they had collected for the occasion and I think it turned out just as she was hoping. As T was cremated, she was in a small plastic transport box from the funeral home. She was placed in a nice wooden box her sister had and she was placed under a small memorial tree that one of her friends had planted in my grandparents backyard a few months ago. It was an area near T's garden and where she had planted wildflowers, which had just started to bloom. Soon, my aunt C and whatever other family is available, will spread her ashes on a mountain she loved to hike with her dogs. Except for a small amount my dad will keep in a small vile on his motorcycle. That was kind of their thing. I helped my grandma start sorting through T's room. Just some basic stuff to get started. We were actually looking for her camera and some of her friends had also requested copies of some older pictures if we could find them. Our basic sorting was cleaning out all her bags & purses, trashing the junkie stuff that collects in those type of things & just putting anything to keep or that looked important in a box for a later decision. We also collected all the medication she'd been taking & other medical supplies we came across. So, it was just a start.
I was very happy to get to spend some time with relatives I had not seen since I was little. It was also nice to spend some uninterrupted time with my grandparents, dad & step-mom and aunt and uncle. Without having to worry about the kids & their schedule & what they needed there was a lot of talking and catching up.
I am tired. I miss my babies. My mom sent me a picture of Dom on Sunday. I think he's grown a few inches and his hair is longer and blonder. He needed a haircut when I left but he definately needs one now! I can't wait to get home and snuggle my kids.

Acceptance and Closure?

I sit here in the Denver airport for an hour and a half layover. I'm flying to seattle today and Saturday we will have a memorial service for my aunt. I don't know if that actully includes burial, as she was cremated & I haven't asked.
As one of her friends put it "I've been meaning to call but calling meant I have to face my wonderful friends passing head on. Very hard to do. I think of her literally every day i think. I will definitly be there for T's graduation party (so my husband calls it!)."
So, to, will I have to face it head on. I know she's gone, but I don't think the complete reality has hit home yet. And it probably won't until Saturday.

The Little Critters!

They have arrived. Little Mr. S and little Ms. A arrived just after noon on the 28th. S was 6lbs 9oz and A was 5lbs 9oz. Very good sized for twins! Everyone is happy & healthy and they actually all went home yesterday. They are absolutely adorable, sweet little things. Sad to say I probably won't get to see them until July but that will have to do!

Little Critter Project Part II

This little project is for a couple of baby blankets. I just don't seem to have the time to sew lately but I made the time for this project.

I'm going to be an aunt! (yes, I'm already an aunt, but who doesn't love brand spankin new babies!)

If you haven't noticed...I'm making two little baby quilts. One seems girlish, one boyish.....it's twins folks! My sister in law is having the first grandbabies on that side of the family that don't belong to me. My kids are finally getting some cousins on daddy's side! It's kind of funny because the SIL said (of her Grandma) "I may not be able to give you your first great grandaughter, I may not be able to give you your first great grandson, but I do get to give you the first set of twins!"

I'm pretty stoked about how these turned out considering that I had a) no pattern b) no instructions c) these are the first actual quilts I've started and completed. I LOVE them and kind of want to keep one to cuddle with. Gotta make some more soon!!

So, this was actually pretty simple. I went lazy since I didn't have a plan and didn't have really any idea of how much material I needed and did not want to have a bunch of expensive material left over. For each quilt I bought 6 fat quarters and got a yard and a half of materal for the back. Each fat quarter got cut into 4 squares. I bought baby quilt size batting and pinned it all together. Instead of tying or traditional quilting (which I would have NO idea how to attempt) I just did a circle on the sewing machine (part of the button-hole selection) where I would have tied it. I didn't want to do tie's because they can come undone and then ruin the quilt.

Annnnnnd....

Voila!

Baby girl's name starts with an "A"

Baby boy's name starts with an "S"

"Our" babies are due at the end of May. However, SIL has been having some issues and has been on bed rest for the last month or so and still has about another 6 weeks or so to go. The baby shower that had been planned had to be post-poned (which totally helped me out) so I'll be shipping these off to TX probably next week.

Little Critter Project

These are the beginnings of an awesome project:

Coming soon!!

A Walk

The weather was pretty nice out today. Faith has spring break so her daddy took the day off & they went fishing this afternoon.
After I picked Dom up from daycare after work I got changed & we went for a little walk. We walked down to the park & swang, ran around a bit. He had half a sandwich, ran around some more then we walked home. He had some pretty rosy, chilly cheeks by the time we got home but seems to have had a good time. The stroller is still sitting in our living room and he keeps climbing in, ready to go again! He's now snoozing & will hopefully sleep good all night!

Floating

I've been in a funk. I just seem to be floating along with my head full of crap. I can't seem to focus long enough to string together a coherent sentence or have the attention span to put together an interesting paragraph.
I think I'm depressed. There. I said it. I seem to be crankier than normal, border bitchy. Yes, I can be a bitch when necessary (who can't!) but it just seems to be an overall mood thing. Anyway, seems to be more than just a funk. I'm hoping with spring coming being outside with nice weather will help. I might even go tan a bit. This time of year it's a nice little burst of (fake) sun.

**************************

Tonight, I'm child free. Faith has spring break this week so my mom has her, Dom & two of my sisters kids until tomorrow. Nothing like making grandma a little nuts!
I like a little break from the kids as much as the next person, but I miss my babies. Actually, I miss Dom more than I miss Faith, which I feel COMPLETELY guilty about. It's just that Faith is more independant. She doesn't wake up from a nap & ask for momma! I want to kiss his chubby little cheeks & cuddle with him!
On that note, I'm going to have a super rough week in June. I'll be heading to WA for my aunt's memorial. I'll be gone for an entire.week. I'll miss my munchkins.

******************************

Regarding my upcoming trip to WA, I'm looking forward to it because I won't have to worry about anyone but me. I won't have to worry about keeping track of kids or making sure they're happy & fed. It will be an actual adult visit. Although the reason to be going out there sucks, the upside is I will get to see many members of my extended family that I haven't seen in years. Some probably since I was in grade school.

So, there you have it. That's sorta what I've been up to. I'm going to try to blog more often. Hopefully it will be thereputic!