I can just look up & know the stars are holding you....

I am in the airport waiting for my flight. It's been a week full of the whole spectrum of emotions. When I got to Seattle it was rainy and was until Saturday. Saturday was a beautiful day. Perfect weather to gather friends and family together so say good-bye to my aunt. I had the pleasure to meet some of Aunt T's wonderful wonderful friends.
I can't really call it a service, so I guess the "gathering"? The gathering was everything we could have asked for. My grandma wanted me to put together a collage of pictures they had collected for the occasion and I think it turned out just as she was hoping. As T was cremated, she was in a small plastic transport box from the funeral home. She was placed in a nice wooden box her sister had and she was placed under a small memorial tree that one of her friends had planted in my grandparents backyard a few months ago. It was an area near T's garden and where she had planted wildflowers, which had just started to bloom. Soon, my aunt C and whatever other family is available, will spread her ashes on a mountain she loved to hike with her dogs. Except for a small amount my dad will keep in a small vile on his motorcycle. That was kind of their thing. I helped my grandma start sorting through T's room. Just some basic stuff to get started. We were actually looking for her camera and some of her friends had also requested copies of some older pictures if we could find them. Our basic sorting was cleaning out all her bags & purses, trashing the junkie stuff that collects in those type of things & just putting anything to keep or that looked important in a box for a later decision. We also collected all the medication she'd been taking & other medical supplies we came across. So, it was just a start.
I was very happy to get to spend some time with relatives I had not seen since I was little. It was also nice to spend some uninterrupted time with my grandparents, dad & step-mom and aunt and uncle. Without having to worry about the kids & their schedule & what they needed there was a lot of talking and catching up.
I am tired. I miss my babies. My mom sent me a picture of Dom on Sunday. I think he's grown a few inches and his hair is longer and blonder. He needed a haircut when I left but he definately needs one now! I can't wait to get home and snuggle my kids.

Acceptance and Closure?

I sit here in the Denver airport for an hour and a half layover. I'm flying to seattle today and Saturday we will have a memorial service for my aunt. I don't know if that actully includes burial, as she was cremated & I haven't asked.
As one of her friends put it "I've been meaning to call but calling meant I have to face my wonderful friends passing head on. Very hard to do. I think of her literally every day i think. I will definitly be there for T's graduation party (so my husband calls it!)."
So, to, will I have to face it head on. I know she's gone, but I don't think the complete reality has hit home yet. And it probably won't until Saturday.

The Little Critters!

They have arrived. Little Mr. S and little Ms. A arrived just after noon on the 28th. S was 6lbs 9oz and A was 5lbs 9oz. Very good sized for twins! Everyone is happy & healthy and they actually all went home yesterday. They are absolutely adorable, sweet little things. Sad to say I probably won't get to see them until July but that will have to do!