Weekend Away

Yeah yeah, I'm a slacker. Our trip to Chicago was pretty fun. We pretty much walked the "Magnificent Mile" and shopped all day! It wasn't the normal "we're on a mission" shopping trip I'm used to with the mil but a nice wandering one. The weather was alright. It snowed, then sleated, then snowed some more and then started raining! We were in & out of stores enough that it wasn't too cold and our hotel was only about a block & a half off the street we were shopping on. They have a Christkindel Market that we had wanted to go to but were pretty tired by the end of the day so we didn't. I just wish we'd have actually had time for some of the sight seeing stuff as we only shopped.

I don't even have any good pictures! As luck would have it, when I went to take a picture...my camera batteries were dead!

So, this is all I have to offer....the view from our hotel room!

Weekend Trip

Today I've taken the whole day off of work. I'm going to Chicago with my mother in law & two sister in law's (I know the correct spelling/termage is sister's in law, but it sounds funny). A month or so ago they asked if I wanted to go with them for a Christmas Shopping Trip. My thought? By the time I pay for my plane ticket, I won't have any $$ left for shopping! Which is fine with me, I just think it will be a fun trip! I've never been, other than a layover in the airport, which I don't think counts. So we're heading to KC soon to the airport then we'll be back on sunday. Maybe I'll have some pics when I get back!

Litltle Susie Homemaker

Fire up your ovens, I'm baking bread! We're heading to The Centennial State (really? That's what it's called? I thought it would be something better than that.) for Thanksgiving. I feel a bit like a slacker if I don't contribute but I don't want to take up fridge space or have to commandeer the kitchen to cook something once we get there, so I'm making some Rye Bread to take. Mmmm, rye bread. I don't buy it often becuse I don't like it with caraway seed or dill or any other such nastie stuff in it. So, I have to make it!
Also, becuase of our crazy busy Thanksgiving schedule, I'll be doing more baking probably monday evening. I'm making stromboli and cheesie jalapeno bread to take to the other part of the family here in KS. We're all over the place.

Look at all the rising bread!

Silly Little Girl

I love my daughter! She's a riot.

Last week we went to eat at Applebee's. As we were getting close she saw the sign & said "there's Applebee's", except it sounded like she said something else. I asked her what she said and she told me "I said there's Applebee's. Ya know, like Apple B E's". My 3 1/2 year old, trying to spell it out for me. Once we got inside and were seated we were just hangin out, catching up on the day. There was some song playing & Faith noticed the music. She was sitting there looking at her kids menu wiggling along to the song.



Then, just this morning, Faith was getting dressed for the day (that's a whole 'nother post on what a mess she is). Her dad was helping her pick out her clothes (reaching what she wanted but couldn't get). She came out wearing a pink, flowered, cotton dress with a long sleeved white shirt underneath and white leggings. She was happy with this, then all of the sudden she wasn't. She was all sad so I asked her what was wrong. She mumbled something I couldn't hear so I sat her on the bed & sat by her to have a chat. I asked her again what was wrong. She said she didn't want to wear this anymore. I told her if she wanted to wear her dress she had to either wear the leggings or tights becuase it's too cold out not to. She was sitting there kind of pulling at the shirt underneath and I asked her what was wrong with the outfit. She said "I look crazy". Yup, started laughing! She went & found something she deemed less crazy to wear.

Sometimes I have to remember to just stop and watch her. She just completely amazes me! It also still suprises me sometimes how much you can love this one small little person.

Soooo....this means I don't have to study, right?

No testing. As my doctor has explained it, at this point there is no need to do any testing until after the 3rd consecutive miscarriage. Reason being? Statistically the next time should be fine. Also because he says there is no reason to waste the time, effort and money and not to mention give us false hope that it'll all be figured out. Here's the deal as he explained it: Even with all the testing, the majority of the time there is no cause to be found for multiple miscarriages. And if there is a cause to be found....most of those there is no "cure" for. Basically you would be aware that you would have whatever specific condition and be aware that this could cause a miscarriage.
As the plan stands now....wait 3 months before starting to try again. However, I did bring up that it took a year & a half to get pregnant this last time. I've now got to set up an appointment in a couple months to discuss our options to address that. I have to get my blood drawn once a week until my hormone levels return to normal. Once I get myself all put back together we'll talk about I suppose drugs to take to get me knocked up.
Also on a lovely side note, thursday at work I flushed what there was of the baby. I went out & got myself severly drunk that night. I had a lovely time. Caught up with an old friend who was back (stationed in Germany, been in Iraq for the last year), met a couple new friends & could barely function with my hangover friday at work. However, I work with some very understanding people!

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

No baby. Monday evening I had some light spotting/bleeding. Tuesday I called the dr & went and had some blood drawn. My hcg level was 387. In 48 hours it should have at least doubled to 774. It went down to 358. So now I await the onslaught of blood, gore and cramps. I'm so excited.
I was actually holding onto a tiny bit of hope. I only had light bleeding off & on and absolutely no cramping or anything else. This. Fucking. Blows. Now I get to go to the dr next week to chat about these wonderful things. There's a chance we'll have to have some genetic testing done to see if there is something wrong, or if we just have really really sucky luck. We'll discuss & go from there. It took 1 1/2 years to get pregnant again. I really don't want to have to wait that long again. I know other people have waited longer & for some it never happens. I've been known for my bad luck. I hope this is just another one of those times.

Same Song, Second Verse: "The Big C"

I just recently found out, as did my aunt, that she has cancer. My aunt T (not to be confused with my uncle T who has cancer) is only 42 years old. They are as yet unable to find the direct source of the cancer, but it has metsastisized to her brain and paratid gland. They've decided to start treatment (as opposed to just waiting around doing nothing) while they continue to try and find where it originated.
I have not seen my aunt for 15 years. I want to go visit her now. She lives in Washington. I just keep thinking I'll have to take a long weekend, bite the bullet & buy a plane ticket and go. I just feel like if I'm going I should take Faith because that side of my family has never seen her. Then it's kind of like, well, why doesn't Matt go to? Because we can't fricken afford for all of us to go! That's why we didn't go this summer like we had wanted. We were hoping to go next summer but now I don't think that will work out.

The Rabbit Died

Hey all, I'm knocked up! Yay! Just found out yesterday & haven't really told anyone yet (except the hubby of course). I'm excited & scared. I'm kind of afraid to get my hopes up seeing how things went last time. Best guess at a due date for right now is around June 10th. That's all I've got for now!

Solution

Well, Faith has not given up on her "porn music" so her dad has taught her something new that seems to be sticking. Instead of her saying "bow chicka wow wow" she now says "bird chicken cow cow."
This morning she was saying that and asked me if I could show her a picture of a birdchickencowcow. Last week we had looked up pictures of an armadillo. She must have heard it on tv at daycare. She likes to find things on the computer.

The Big "C"

I'm taking a few moments to blog from our hotel in Colorado. The hubby & kid are napping. We're here to visit my uncle & his family. My uncle "T" has cancer in his adrenal gland. They found it I beleive 3 years ago. They gave him 6 weeks to live. I'm not sure what all he had done (surgery & various treatments) but they got it. Then, about 6 months later it came back. They've been doing various treatments in different progams since then. I don't beleive the tumors have ever shrank but they have not since grown. Just recently he was kicked out of his program he was in because his protein levels were elevated so they would no longer allow him to be there. As they're scrambling to find him a new program to get in to, they find out he's got tumors on his heart. Now they have to see if a doctor will remove them. They were supposed to find out friday, but something came up (the doctor had an emergency). Now they're hoping to get the call tuesday. Thing is, I hear his chances of making it through the surgery are not very good. However, if he doesn't have the surgery, he's looking at a heart attack anytime or pnemonia and dieing from that. He's pretty well damned if he does & damned if he doesn't. As much as all this sucks, it's worse. He's got three small children. The oldest is 10, then 8 & 6.
So, at his request we've all converged on his house for the long weekend (about 40 of us). I haven't seen him for a couple months and I have to say, he looks horrible. He is sooo thin & exhausted looking. There is concern amongst the family that this is it. That the next time we all gather will be for his funeral. Everyone is scared that he won't even make it to Thanksgiving. To try to be positive, he's had 3 more years with his children than the doctors ever thought he would, but that is little comfort. Not being around him and his wife & kids a lot, I wonder how much of it they get. If they've even been told that daddy won't be around much longer.

*UPDATE*
Found out yesterday that they are unable to operate. I guess now that just have to decide what treatment options are available.

On Parenting....

My greatest hope is that my daughter (and any future children) don't HATE me. This is not the petty "I hate my parents because they won't let me ______". I'm talking about the plotting to run away, despise your parents, miserable existance of a childhood that you're actually considering killing yourself to not have to be around them HATE. Yup, that was me.

My Mom & Stepdad:
There was a point that I truly HATED my parents. I'm not sure of all the reasons why. To be honest, I try not to think about it. I was miserable. We get along now & I'm a little worried that I would start to hate them again if I tried to figure out the whole mess.
During the summers my older sister & I would have to watch our 3 younger siblings all the time. We were very rarely allowed to go do things with our friends. If they did call and ask it woud take a minimum of 20 minutes to get an answer then it was usually "no", so eventually friends quit calling.
If I were to get in trouble for something, it wasn't a you did this wrong, this is your punishment. It was several hours of yelling and fighting with nothing resolved. Depending on what it was, sometimes the belt came out. Oh yeah, good fun.
I got in trouble if I didn't have good grades. Yeah, you're thinking "who didn't". However, the screwed up part of this whole system? When I got home from school, I had chores to do (laundry for a familiy of 7), dishes etc. not to mention watching the younger siblings. Then there was fixing supper, then guess what, dishes again. So after all of this was done, we were allowed to do homework until our bedtime. Let me tell you. This was not much time. This whole screwed up parent thing was just my mom & stepdad. My dad is a whole 'nother thing.

*let me just say, it got much worse than this. I just can't get into it right now (or maybe ever)

My Dad:
My dad was absent to say the least. We would see him in the summers for awhile. You know how many times I have spoken to my father in the last six or more years? Twice. Do you know why I spoke to him? Wrong. Fucking. Number. I gave him my cell phone number probably shortly after I got it in 1998. My dad called me somtime in early 2006. I didn't even know who he was at first. By the end of our short conversation I was pretty sure it was him only because he sounded a little like my grandpa on the phone. Then he called me again I think last March. Once again wrong number. Both times he was trying to call his boss. Her name starts with an "s" so apparentley I was next to her in his cell. So, he's got my number he just has chosen not to use it. There's not much else to say about my dad. The last time I actually physically saw him? The summer that my youngest sister was born. She turns 15 next month. Now to give him a little bit of a break here, he does live in the state of Washington. I live in Kansas. So I understood that this wasn't an everyother weekend situation, but come on! One of my stepsisters lived in TX for awhile. My dad & stepmom went down for Christmas one year. I found this out from my grandma (his mom) after Christmas. Not a word from him. Even my friend Erin was able to stop in for a few hours for breakfast one morning on her way from WA to TX. Hmm, my dad won't let me know he's in the area but a college friend will.


So, those are my parents. Have I mentioned we don't hug in my family? Or say "I love you". Personally, I prefer it that way. Mostly the hugs I got when I was little were after the hours of fighting and apparently they felt a hug was necessary. Whatever. This is one thing that will not continue with me and my kids. I tell Faith I love her all the time. She gets smothered in hugs and kisses several times a day. I tell her I miss her when I haven't seen her for awhile. And she tells me she loves me too. Sometimes after I pick her up from daycare and we're on our way home, she's sitting in her carseat behind me and says "mommy, I sure missed you today."
I really truly hope to be a good parent. I want to raise my kid(s) to be happy, well adjusted and to know that they are loved. No matter what.

Happy Birthday to You!

Today is the day that 3 fabulous people were born! My sister in law turns 33 today, my niece is 5 and my friend Erin is 27! I'd sing, but it would scare children & small animals...maybe big animals too..and maybe the elderly. I better just not do it. But I hope you all have great birthdays!

Bow Chicka What!!!!!???

Picture this...a petite 3 year old girl. She's putting a puzzle together at our coffee table. Very sweetly she says.... Bow Chicka wow wow... bow chicka wow wow. Um. Yeah. Not something you hear every day! Where, you may ask, did this come from? Apparentley a commercial for Axe (I think, or some other cologne like substance). Have you seen them? Oooh, found one.
That's my baby! She's a sponge.

The Cake That Almost Wasn't

When I placed the order for Faith's birthday cake, they asked when I wanted to pick it up. I asked if I could pick it up the 30th. The lady told me that they aren't usually open on saturdays, but they would have someone there at noon and then later in the afternoon because other people had to pick things up too (they do wedding cakes, catering etc. so even though they aren't open saturdays they normally have pick-ups which I knew). I told her that noon would be best. Easy to remember and would work good becuase I knew I'd have other stuff to do in the afternoon before the party at 4:30.

At 11:30 saturday I headed out to drop Chrissy off at the vet then headed to the cake place. I arrived and parked out front at about 11:50 (I am ALWAYS early for stuff). I went ahead and tired the door, but since I was early didn't really expect it to be open. It wasn't. So, I waited around for about 20 minutes. No one came. My sister-in-law came by (her office is in the same building as the cake place). I told her my delima. We decided to go through her office to the other side of the building. Maybe their entrance on the other side would be open! It wasn't. I was worried that while I was on the other side of the building the cake lady was wondering where I was on the side I originally started out on. So, I went clear back there and the doors were still locked. I decided to call the number and got the answering machine. I left a message. I called my mom because I knew she'd picked up something before and asked which entrance she'd used. The same one I was at. So I waited some more. Then I remembered the lady on the phone telling me someone else had to pick up something at noon. Where were they at? Shouldn't that person be waiting with me wondering why the door was still locked? I'm guessing that they either cancelled or arranged to pick it up at a differnet time and they forgot about me.

I decided to call my sister. I thought she might know (or know someone who knew) the name of the lady that ran the place. The best I could hope for was to get a hold of her at home & ask if someone could come get me my cake. Rhi said she couldn't remember the last name of the lady, but she'd find out & let me know. At this point I was irritated and had a lot of other stuff I needed to do. So shortly after 1:00 I decided screw this. I had to go pick up balloons. I went to the other side of town and had just parked at the balloon store. Rhi called me back and said she had been able to get a hold of the lady and she was at the cake place. She said she been there the whole time and didn't know I was there (I had pounded on several windows and am suprised I didn't break one). She said she was going out to look for me. Well, fat lot of good that does since I was on the other freakin side of town! So I left right away and went clear back across town, hoping the whole time she wouldn't leave. I get there and what do you know, there's a small white SUV in the parking lot that WAS NOT there before. So I go in, get strange looks and someone hollers to another woman "someone's here". I get my cake, pay for it and get out of there. No sorry no nothing. Whatever. I got my cake. Which I did like how it turned out!

3 Years and Counting!

On Friday, Faith turned 3! My little smoochie-poo it getting so big! We had a party yesterday for her. We had friends & family over for cake & ice cream and food. We did the cake & ice cream first (every kids dream right? Dessert before the meal!) Well, I did it that way because this time of year people are busy so I thought we do the fun stuff then for the people who could/wanted to hang around longer, we'd feed them. I had some issues when picking up the cake, but I'll tell you about that later. I'm not really in the mood to go over that whole mess again.

So, the party. It went very well. There were 6 small children running around and there were no major problems. Of course there were a few small scuffles but that's to be expected in the 1-4 year old range. My neice whacked her brother in the head with a plastic bat. He got over it. No permanent damage! Then after Faith opened presents there was some expected squabiling because everyone wanted to play with the same things. Then everybody ate, played some more and went home! I think everybody had a pretty good time and I was EXAUSTED! We'll probably do it again next year. Good times.

Faith, enjoying a little more cake after the party was over (nothing like a 2nd piece of cake at 9:30pm)

Rounding up the balloons that are left to take inside. I think she'd had enough photos taken for the day!

Where did you get that at?

Faith: I like your shirt mommy.
Mommy: Uh, thanks (it's an old, slightly faded t-shirt).
Faith: Where did you get it?
Mommy: Um, some store.
Faith: What store mommy?
Mommy: I don't know. It's pretty old, I don't really remember.
Faith: Probably Walmart?
Mommy: Yeah, I guess. I could have gotten it there.
Faith: It's a very nice shirt mommy.

***********

Faith: Mmm, this is a good pickle mom!
Me: Yeah, I thought you'd like it. They are pretty good.
Faith: Where did you get it?
Me: At the store.
Faith: Which store?
Me: The grocery store.
Faith: Walmart or Dillons grocery store?
Me: Um, I think Dillons.
Faith: Oh, ok. It's a good pickle.


This is Faith's new thing. She will compliment you on something then ask where you got it. And if you don't know, she'll say "oh, you probably got it at Walmart". I think we shop there too much! (but we don't have much choice around here). I know she's a curious little thing and in her defense, people ask her where she gets stuff too. My only hope it that the next step in this line of questioning isn't "and how much did it cost?"

Ready, Set, Knit!

I have taught myself to knit! Yea! I've been wanting to learn for quite awhile. So I finally bought knitting for dummies and I figured it out! Nothing to get too excited over yet, I've just learned the basics but I'm diggin it. Maybe by the time it's cold again I'll be able to knit my little Faith a cute winter hat!

Take Cover!

Tuesday night. In the basement. Waiting on the TORNADO to go away. Ok, I don't know that there is actually one right outside our window or anything but we are in a tornado warning and there was one about 10 miles west of us heading our way. So, we've got Faith snoozin on the couch, Matt trying to convince Chrissy to control her tail (and sit in one place) and Matt's sister laughing at the whole thing. And I'm wondering how long we'll have to wait! It's currently 10:59pm and I would like to go to bed. I think we're actually in the warning until 4 this morning & I'm definately not waiting up the whole time! I'm hot & sweaty (I think I'll run upstairs & adjust the AC) and there's not really a comfy place to lay. Guess I'll just hang out.
Ooo! We are now out of the tornado warning! Guess we'll get Faith back to bed and take a peek outside. I hope the flowers and garden survived the hail. It sounded pretty bad for awhile.
The damage: Not much that I can tell right now! Our flower garden is pretty sad and beat up. I don't know if they can recover from the beating they took! Poor Faith will probably be sad tomorrow! We planted the seeds awhile back and they were growing very nicely. I guess I'll wait until morning (and light) to check out our garden. I don't have very high hopes for it.....

Just Another Day....Sort of

So, here we are on a lovely April day in Kansas. It is snowing.

Now the real reason for today's post. Yesterday marked one year since my miscarriage. It does not seem like it could have been a year already. It doesn't seem like it was "yesterday" but maybe like it could have been last month. Tuesday, April 4th I woke up at about 6am gushing blood like nobody's business. On my way to the bathroom I told Matt he needed to get up, NOW. So, as I'm sitting in the bathtub (which if you ever think you're having a mc, you should do. Don't sit on the toilet because they'll ask you about clots, tissue and how much you've bled. You don't know these answers if they're in the bottom of the toilet. I learned this after I bled while being preg with Faith) I told Matt to get me some clean clothes and get Faith up because we were going to the ER. We got there and I'm sure I was a sight, what with dried blood caked on me and fresh still running everywhere. While they were trying to figure out what exactly was going on with me they removed ping pong ball sized blood clots from me. Yup, nice visual huh? The hopefull thought was that there was not any tissue, just blood & clots. So eventually they did a sonogram. Then shortly after that we found out the baby had died. Then, shortly after that they were able to get me in for a D&C at around 10 or 10:30 am (since I hadn't eaten anything for however many hours we didn't have to wait and they also just happened to have an opening in surgery). All this time I was pretty much numb. I don't think I really cried. I think partially because I was thinking maybe they were wrong and that it wasn't true and the baby really was okay. As I was laying on the table, all drugged up, covered in warm blankets and as they were putting me out, I started to cry. The next thing I remember is feeling like I was asleep and my back hurt very very badly. So I rolled onto my side thinking it would feel better. As I did this I heard someone talking to me & I kind of mumbled something. Then the same woman said "her blood pressure just dropped, get her off her side and back onto her back, now." The next thing I remember I was finally waking up and Matt was there sitting by me. I was still out of it & sleeping off & on. At about 5 I think, the nurses in recovery started trying to get me up and moving around. I was still bleeding pretty good. So, I'm up and heading to the bathroom to pee (ya know how nurses are about making you go before you can leave). We get there, I sit down and tell the nurse I'm not feeling too well. As things go black and I pass out I hear the nurse yell for the other nurse to come help her. Then I'm back in the bed where I started. Did you know that a D&C is an out-patient procedure? You're supposed to be able to go home afterwards and be sad and miserable in your own bed. Not me. No, I have to go to the floor and stay the night. Now in my particular hospital (don't know about yours) they have the women's center. This is where you stay if you are in the hospital for any woman specific ailment or event. Hysterectmy (sp), D&C or birth. Yup, that's right. You, Sharona have just lost your baby.....Bob, tell her what she's won....Why, a not all expense paid night on the same floor as scores of mother's who have just given birth! You can even listen to the new babies cry all night for free! So, the night sucked and I got out of there the next morning. Shortly after I got home I started looking for tattoo ideas. I had decided that I was getting one I just wasn't sure what yet. I told my husband about the idea, he wasn't real thrilled. He's not much of a tatto guy. I thought about it off and on and never really committed to doing it for multiple reasons. So, here we are a year later. We have not been able to get pregnant again yet, not too sure why. As I was laying in bed monday night at 11:30 I decided I was getting my tattoo. Angel wings on my left wrist. I told Matt my decision the next morning. He asked if I was having a crisis. More like finally dealing with it, not starting a new one. I reminded him I had been thinking about this for awhile. He said I hadn't said anything about it for quite some time. Well, yes, but I'd still been thinking about it. I was so serious that had it been possible I would have gotten out of bed at 11:31 and went and got it had there been a place open. Tuesday I called and made an appointment. The next one available? May 2nd at 10:30 am. I took it because I really didn't have much other choice. Wednesday at noon I went to look at tattoo designs & hope to talk to Lee about mine if he wasn't too busy. When I went in & was looking through stuff I heard Lee talking to the other guy about a cancellation for tomorrow (today). I asked the guy up front what time the cancellation was & if I could get in. I could and I did. At 1pm today I got my first tattoo. It totally looks better in person. I love it, it's like it was always meant to be there. Angel wings for my sweet little baby. I don't know if I was going to have a boy or a girl. I was too numb/scared to ask about it at the time and I don't know if they have any record of it. The next time I go in I'll ask (if I'm feeling brave). As far as the whole tattoo experience? LOVED IT. It didn't hurt near as much as I expected. It was fun and I would totally do it again. (thing is, I don't know that I want anymore tattoos! But the experience was fun!)

Head Trauma

So as some of you know, and some of you don't, about 2 weeks ago Faith was at my parents house & slipped and whacked her head on the stone hearth of the fireplace. She was bleeding pretty good & had a gash in her head. They took her to the clinic there & got it glued and I'm told she sat there quietly the whole time. If you ask her what happened she'll tell you the doctor squished her head back together and glued it. (which is pretty much what happened) My mom was understandabley (sp?) a little nervous the rest of the day about her falling again. She told Faith later to please stop running. Faith said, "It's ok Grandma! If I fall & break the other side the doctor can glue it too!" Mom also felt really bad about Faith's poor noggin and she was telling her she was really sorry about her head. Faith said, "Grandma, it's not your fault. I did it."
Since my almost 5 year old neice was born mom has been saying someone's going to fall & crack their head open on that fireplace. Guess she was right. (don't tell her I said that!)
Faith's head is now on it's way to healing (after bonking heads with a little boy at daycare last friday, causing her head to bleed & prompting an ER visit, then bonking it again while she was playing last sunday night, causing it to bleed more). Part of the scab got knocked off yesterday, then last night it was just hanging on by some of the glue that was left. So this morning I yanked it off (seriously gross looking, a scab hanging on by a dab of glue, yuck). Faith now has a dent in her head & some tender new skin on her forehead. She'll probably have a pretty good scar, but I guess she'll have a pretty good story to go with it!

What A Week

Here we are, on a windy Friday night in Kansas. Not much going on here, but I'm extremely glad that it's Friday! It was a pretty long week at work. Monday morning I went in to find everyone else cleaning up from a leak in the roof. So I joined in. We had to move a bunch of stuff out of the room where the water leaked. It got some of our files wet & after everything was moved out the carpet guys set up some large, noisy fans to dry the place out. We were still listening to those fans today... So, the week pretty much went downhill from there! Just about everything that could go wrong did so I'm really hoping that next week will be better! On a positive note, 2 weeks ago I got a super cute haircut & last saturday I bought me some cool new shoes! They were even on sale! Original price $90, sale price $45. So I got a good deal.

And.....I'm Back!

Well, hey there! I don't know if there's anyone left who actually reads this anymore but if you do, I'm back! I've re-vamped a bit, deleted some posts and will now be letting some of my family know about this blog! I'm going to try to use this to keep in touch with them and some friends more!