Back....Again

It's been awhile. I haven't had the time, or focus, or even much of a need, to blog. Now, the need is back. Some things are going on and I need a sounding board. That's about what I've got for now. There will be more in 10-20 days.

I can just look up & know the stars are holding you....

I am in the airport waiting for my flight. It's been a week full of the whole spectrum of emotions. When I got to Seattle it was rainy and was until Saturday. Saturday was a beautiful day. Perfect weather to gather friends and family together so say good-bye to my aunt. I had the pleasure to meet some of Aunt T's wonderful wonderful friends.
I can't really call it a service, so I guess the "gathering"? The gathering was everything we could have asked for. My grandma wanted me to put together a collage of pictures they had collected for the occasion and I think it turned out just as she was hoping. As T was cremated, she was in a small plastic transport box from the funeral home. She was placed in a nice wooden box her sister had and she was placed under a small memorial tree that one of her friends had planted in my grandparents backyard a few months ago. It was an area near T's garden and where she had planted wildflowers, which had just started to bloom. Soon, my aunt C and whatever other family is available, will spread her ashes on a mountain she loved to hike with her dogs. Except for a small amount my dad will keep in a small vile on his motorcycle. That was kind of their thing. I helped my grandma start sorting through T's room. Just some basic stuff to get started. We were actually looking for her camera and some of her friends had also requested copies of some older pictures if we could find them. Our basic sorting was cleaning out all her bags & purses, trashing the junkie stuff that collects in those type of things & just putting anything to keep or that looked important in a box for a later decision. We also collected all the medication she'd been taking & other medical supplies we came across. So, it was just a start.
I was very happy to get to spend some time with relatives I had not seen since I was little. It was also nice to spend some uninterrupted time with my grandparents, dad & step-mom and aunt and uncle. Without having to worry about the kids & their schedule & what they needed there was a lot of talking and catching up.
I am tired. I miss my babies. My mom sent me a picture of Dom on Sunday. I think he's grown a few inches and his hair is longer and blonder. He needed a haircut when I left but he definately needs one now! I can't wait to get home and snuggle my kids.

Acceptance and Closure?

I sit here in the Denver airport for an hour and a half layover. I'm flying to seattle today and Saturday we will have a memorial service for my aunt. I don't know if that actully includes burial, as she was cremated & I haven't asked.
As one of her friends put it "I've been meaning to call but calling meant I have to face my wonderful friends passing head on. Very hard to do. I think of her literally every day i think. I will definitly be there for T's graduation party (so my husband calls it!)."
So, to, will I have to face it head on. I know she's gone, but I don't think the complete reality has hit home yet. And it probably won't until Saturday.

The Little Critters!

They have arrived. Little Mr. S and little Ms. A arrived just after noon on the 28th. S was 6lbs 9oz and A was 5lbs 9oz. Very good sized for twins! Everyone is happy & healthy and they actually all went home yesterday. They are absolutely adorable, sweet little things. Sad to say I probably won't get to see them until July but that will have to do!

Little Critter Project Part II

This little project is for a couple of baby blankets. I just don't seem to have the time to sew lately but I made the time for this project.

I'm going to be an aunt! (yes, I'm already an aunt, but who doesn't love brand spankin new babies!)

If you haven't noticed...I'm making two little baby quilts. One seems girlish, one boyish.....it's twins folks! My sister in law is having the first grandbabies on that side of the family that don't belong to me. My kids are finally getting some cousins on daddy's side! It's kind of funny because the SIL said (of her Grandma) "I may not be able to give you your first great grandaughter, I may not be able to give you your first great grandson, but I do get to give you the first set of twins!"

I'm pretty stoked about how these turned out considering that I had a) no pattern b) no instructions c) these are the first actual quilts I've started and completed. I LOVE them and kind of want to keep one to cuddle with. Gotta make some more soon!!

So, this was actually pretty simple. I went lazy since I didn't have a plan and didn't have really any idea of how much material I needed and did not want to have a bunch of expensive material left over. For each quilt I bought 6 fat quarters and got a yard and a half of materal for the back. Each fat quarter got cut into 4 squares. I bought baby quilt size batting and pinned it all together. Instead of tying or traditional quilting (which I would have NO idea how to attempt) I just did a circle on the sewing machine (part of the button-hole selection) where I would have tied it. I didn't want to do tie's because they can come undone and then ruin the quilt.

Annnnnnd....

Voila!

Baby girl's name starts with an "A"

Baby boy's name starts with an "S"

"Our" babies are due at the end of May. However, SIL has been having some issues and has been on bed rest for the last month or so and still has about another 6 weeks or so to go. The baby shower that had been planned had to be post-poned (which totally helped me out) so I'll be shipping these off to TX probably next week.

Little Critter Project

These are the beginnings of an awesome project:

Coming soon!!

A Walk

The weather was pretty nice out today. Faith has spring break so her daddy took the day off & they went fishing this afternoon.
After I picked Dom up from daycare after work I got changed & we went for a little walk. We walked down to the park & swang, ran around a bit. He had half a sandwich, ran around some more then we walked home. He had some pretty rosy, chilly cheeks by the time we got home but seems to have had a good time. The stroller is still sitting in our living room and he keeps climbing in, ready to go again! He's now snoozing & will hopefully sleep good all night!

Floating

I've been in a funk. I just seem to be floating along with my head full of crap. I can't seem to focus long enough to string together a coherent sentence or have the attention span to put together an interesting paragraph.
I think I'm depressed. There. I said it. I seem to be crankier than normal, border bitchy. Yes, I can be a bitch when necessary (who can't!) but it just seems to be an overall mood thing. Anyway, seems to be more than just a funk. I'm hoping with spring coming being outside with nice weather will help. I might even go tan a bit. This time of year it's a nice little burst of (fake) sun.

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Tonight, I'm child free. Faith has spring break this week so my mom has her, Dom & two of my sisters kids until tomorrow. Nothing like making grandma a little nuts!
I like a little break from the kids as much as the next person, but I miss my babies. Actually, I miss Dom more than I miss Faith, which I feel COMPLETELY guilty about. It's just that Faith is more independant. She doesn't wake up from a nap & ask for momma! I want to kiss his chubby little cheeks & cuddle with him!
On that note, I'm going to have a super rough week in June. I'll be heading to WA for my aunt's memorial. I'll be gone for an entire.week. I'll miss my munchkins.

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Regarding my upcoming trip to WA, I'm looking forward to it because I won't have to worry about anyone but me. I won't have to worry about keeping track of kids or making sure they're happy & fed. It will be an actual adult visit. Although the reason to be going out there sucks, the upside is I will get to see many members of my extended family that I haven't seen in years. Some probably since I was in grade school.

So, there you have it. That's sorta what I've been up to. I'm going to try to blog more often. Hopefully it will be thereputic!

Too Young

My dear aunt T, who found out she had inflamatory breast cancer in September of 2007, has died. She passed around 2:30 this morning at her parents house. She just turned 45 last month. Way too young.
It was just in 2007, not too long before she found out about the cancer, that we had really gotten back in touch again. It was actually the first time I'd had any contact info for her on my own, as an adult. I'm so glad that we were able to make it out to visit her this last March. It means a lot to me to have had that time.
I'm waiting to hear from my dad & grandparents as to funeral plans. I may be making a quick trip to WA. I guess she will be cremated and they might possibly have a small service soon, I think more for closure for her parents, but are planning a larger "life celebration" in the spring. I'll definately be going out for that.
She will be dearly missed.

She's An Original

Last night we had Faith's first parent teacher conference of her kindergarten career. It was, pretty much, a glowing reivew. Her teacher said that she is responsible, helpful, dependible and a good listener (among other things).
The teacher did bring up that Faith tells her she is tired, often. Which I figured would come up! A month or so ago Faith told me one morning that her teacher told her to ask me if she could go to bed earlier. I thought, Great!! She probably thinks my kid is staying up late on school nights 'till like ten (and getting drunk on the weekends). So Faith's bedtime had been 8:30 at the latest so that was changed to 8 and some nights even 7:30. But I figured it would come up! So we discussed the changes and she said since Faith was letting us know she was tired she figured there had been a change, she just wanted to mention it.
Something else that her teacher said was that as a teacher you see the same types of kids every year, you can pick out which ones they are, but she has never before had a "Faith". I belevie that is a good thing, a compliment. She was smiling when she said it anyway!
We are quite proud of our little girl. I am so glad that she is enjoying school and that so far, learning is coming easy for her. I hope that lasts.

Dude. You need to blog!

Yes, Erin. Yes I do.
So, what I have I been up to you wonder? Well, lets see.... Fall seems to have arrived yesterday. Probably only temporarily. But I'm really enjoying the nice cool weather we're supposed to have for the next couple days. I made some yummy chicken noodle soup yesterday.
The new job is going well. It's a bit of an adjustment becuase for the last several years, I have been the one with all the answers, or at least know just where do go to find them. At this job, I don't know anything! Well, other than common sense and the eclectic knowledge of life I've gained in my various jobs I've held over the years. Which is helpful at times. But there is a lot of learning. I feel like I'm picking up on it pretty quickly and so far no complaints from farther up. So I guess, so far, so good!
The biggest thing right now is the birthday party we're planning for this weekend. Or not so much the party this weekend at the actual birthday on Thursday. My baby boy will be one year old! My, the last year has gone so fast. When I think about it, it doesn't seem like it's been a whole year since he joined our family. But at the same time, it seems as though Dominic's always been a part of the family. He is such a sweet little boy too. He's always got a smile & a wave for everyone. And he's my shameless little flirt. I'll have to put up a new pic or two soon!

Fresh Start

I start my new job tomorrow. I must go find my social security card and do a load of laundry!

The end of the old job went ok. I found out our new office manager does not do much work (which I kind of thought) and makes $5/hr more than I was. Which I didn't know. Also, as I suspected, she is a bitch and has been telling the boss half truths, whole lies and pretty much talking out of her ass. I told the old boss (who still has a large financial stake in the company) that if he ever found himself in charge again to give me a call. He said he will and I'll get a raise. Of course, we were drinking....

Decision Made

Well, I have done it. I have quit my job. I gave my two week notice so my last day will be the 28th. I had typed my resignation & took it to work with me but still with no decision made. I told myself I would make a decision before lunch. I weighed the pros and cons all morning long. I finally decided that, in the long run, leaving my current job and taking this new one is what is best for me (and my family). When my office manager (and I use the term loosely) returned from lunch (late, as usual) she found my resignation on her desk. And, the other girl in our office was in her office within 2 minutes. They shut the door and were in there for a good 20 minutes. As soon as she went in there and shut that door, I knew I had made the right decision. They have a lot of "closed door" meetings. For no apparent reason. This is one of the many reasons, that I will not go into, that I decided to leave. Some of the main reasons are the high drama content, not being able to trust what anyone says and the massive weekly changes in my job descripton, duties and what I am "allowed" or "authorized" to do.
I am done. I am on to better things.

Dilema

So, here's the deal. I'm having issues at work. About 3 weeks ago I was ready to walk out of my job and never go back (had I had another job to go to). There seems to be an irritating pattern of my boss & the new office manager getting a stick up their asses and suddenly deciding they have a problem with me. I'm so sick of the drama. Then, within a week, everything is back to normal.
After this most recent hissy fit by them I actually applied for a job. (Because honest to god, I just don't know if they're going to be randomly pissed off one day & fire me.) I had an interview on Friday & was offered the job today. The main thing holding me back from accepting the job tomorrow & giving my two week notice is...the pay. It's $3/hr less than what I'm making. Yes, we could be fine. Basically, the difference is what we pay for 1 of the kids every 2 weeks for daycare. Faith will be starting school mid August so it would essentialy be breaking even. I was so looking forward to Faith starting school & actually being able to SAVE that money we had been paying. I don't like living paycheck to paycheck. We NEED to be able to save money. We actually have been doing pretty good...except for those unexpected big expenses we've had recently.
I just don't know what to do. Do I leave my (slightly) higher paying job for a job with less drama, more stability & more potential job growth down the road? Or do I stay where I am with the higher stress, being treated like crap every couple weeks and not much job security with a little more pay?
I'm leaning towards leaving because I do have my family to consider. I'm not conceited enough to think I am irreplaceable at any job, so it's not like either is guarnteed job security. But it seems as though the new job might be a better enviorment & be better in the long run. I'm just worried that it might be a "grass is greener" situation. I just don't know. I have to decide soon.
Help.

D.O.N.E.

So. Totally. Done.
More later, I just can't form the sentences right now. I'm irritated & would just ramble. I know you're all just waiting on pins & needles! (all 3 or 4 of you?) :) See, not so bad that I can't still be a smart ass.

L.O.L. Baby!

no, not laugh out loud....Locks of Love!!

Several months ago, fairly out of the blue, Faith announced that she wanted her hair cut. Short. I told her that was fine but we had to wait until after her dance recital (so I could put it up). Since she wanted it so short I asked her if she thought it would be a good idea to make sure her hair was long enough and she could donate it to locks of love for some other little girl that didn't have hair. She thought that was a fantastic idea. (10 inches is the minimum length to donate)

The dance recital was Memorial weekend and she's been asking about her haircut since. I keep asking her different questions to try to make sure she's ready. She is. So, the cut starts!

And here we are, with the 10 1/2 inches in a ponytail no longer on her head!!
And this is the final result. This is only her 3rd haircut in her (almost) 5 years of life. It's such a change! Faith loves it. As of tonight she is thrilled, I just hope she's not sad & missing it tomorrow! I have the Faith-less ponytail in a plastic bag, I just have to get a padded envelope (per the instructions) to mail it in and we will ship it off. I'm so proud of my baby!

The Band Wagon

Well, I guess everyone is hopping on the Tiller band wagon, I might was well too. I thought about leaving a comment over at Julie's but the more I thought about it the more I had to say & didn't want to dump it on her!
Do you realize he is referred to as Tiller the Baby Killer? Let me just say this up front. I in no way think that it is right that this man was shot and killed. However, I also don't think it's right how all of the sudden the media is "morning the loss" of this "great man".
I guess my exact views on abortion would be described by some as wishy-washy. Either you're pro-life or you're pro-choice. Here is how I feel. You may disagree with me, fine. This is my opinion: If you find yourself pregnant and do not want to be you have the choice of abortion. I have not found myself in that situation but I can imagine what it would be like. You need to asses your situation & have your abortion ASAP if you choose to do so. If you're hemming & hawing about this & wait until you're 7+ months pregnant; I'm sorry but screw you. Have the baby & give it up for adoption. Now, I'm not saying there should not be exceptions such as the life of the mother is in danger or significant birth defects of the baby. There is always an exception to the rule. Those are things that need to be decided by a medical professional and the pregnant woman.
What this man did (and the few others like him that perform late term abortions) was kill viable babies. These babies were all but delivered alive before he shoved a sharp instrument in their skull to kill them. Seriously. If that baby slipped out a little more, it would be born alive & by law he could then do nothing to the baby or he would be charged with murder. So, a few inches is all the difference between an abortion and a murder. Just a technicality.
I do feel for this man's family. He was murdered. I guess that's pretty cut & dry. A few inches this way or that, he was still shot & died. No technicality for him.

Garage Sales Rock!

This was my newest garage sale purchase:

It's about 2 years old, used twice and I got it for a 3rd of what she paid for it. Woo hoo!

Dominic obviously diggs it too.

Blurb Book

So, this photo was taken last summer at a local festival. It was August & sooo hot! The fresh squeezed lemonade really hit the spot!

I am submitting this photo into the http://www.iheartfaces.com/ Blurb Book photo contest. I am granting I ♥ Faces permission to use my photo in a printed version of a book for commercial use and possibly advertising of a photo book on both the Blurb and I ♥ Faces web sites.

My Girl

This was my little girl in August when she went off to her first day of preschool. When she started school she could write her first name, but now she can write her last name too. She has learned to tie her shoes and many other things. Her teacher sent home a note saying how much she enjoyed having Faith in her class. She also said how she was a very good friend. She would help her friends anytime they needed and is very proud of her acomplishments.

Below is my sweet little girl this morning. A mere 9 months after going out the door for her first day of preschool, this is her heading out the door for her last day. Next time, it's going to be her 1st day of kindergarten. Yikes!!

Holy crap, look at where her head is compared to the door knob in the 1st picture & then the 2nd! Man did she grow.